Facebook and I are not friends right now. I took the app off my phone weeks ago and really haven’t missed being able to access it about a gazillion times a day. I do, however, still visit FB 2-3 times a day via the iPad and iMac, and continue to find something (or several things) that piss me off. I need to break up with FB completely, at least for a while. But that’s a different topic.
I came across a post yesterday morning that got me thinking. You see, the wife of a man I used to babysit posted a pic of her husband in khakis and a sleeveless undershirt with the caption, “Mmmm…”. I went to hit the “like” button but stopped myself. “That would be a little creepy, B.” Then I started rationalizing with myself. So here’s the deal: What I liked about her post wasn’t the pic of her man. What I liked was the raw emotion, the feeling of attraction to her husband that she wasn’t ashamed to share with several hundred of her closest friends. Now, maybe you’re thinking, “oh, they’re young, that stuff ends when life starts happening.” Well, you may be interested to know they have a son about the same age as A and she just gave birth (like, less than 2 weeks ago) to a new baby girl. So one could assume she’s not exactly feeling her absolute best.
It got me thinking, because, we don’t see this often enough in today’s society. I myself am terribly guilty of not expressing my physical attraction to my husband. There seems to be a major hesitation to express your physical attraction once you’ve been married for more than a minute. I guess when you see a husband and wife together you just assume they’re physically attracted to each other? I mean, why else would they have gotten married? How do we know for sure without a little hard evidence? I’m not talking about acting like teenagers in the back of the movie theater, or publicly groping each other in a restaurant. I’m talking about being willing to express your feelings for each other to a greater extent than a peck on the cheek. How about a lingering kiss? On the lips even! You know, the one where you inhale just enough of each others scent to feel slightly dizzy? You end the kiss desperately trying to remember what you were doing beforehand? It’s the kind of kiss that takes place at a wedding. Why should that be the last time your friends and family see your expression of love and desire for each other? There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of touching in public. The kind of touching that is just slightly inappropriate for someone else to do. It’s one thing to slap someone’s leg, it’s another for a husband to rest his hand on his wife’s thigh. It’s one thing to touch someone’s arm or elbow. It’s another for a wife to intertwine her arm with her husband’s. I just think there has been such an emphasis placed on NOT displaying this kind of affection that we’ve (I’ve) taken it too far. Time to make a conscious effort to be more affectionate with my husband, both in public and at home. Similar to the FB post, I want to scream from the rooftops how attracted I am to the Hubs. I want everyone to know. I’m not embarrassed. I’m married to God’s gift to me and I regularly take pleasure and joy in that gift.
I recently mentioned my sister has a new, very serious boyfriend. And by very serious, I expect them to be engaged before the end of the year. My sister still lives at home, so my mom and I regularly converse, er, discuss, er, gossip about her. It was interesting to hear my mom say that it does her heart good to see their physical attraction for each other. He’s not shy about touching her, kissing her and cuddling with her on the couch even though my parents are in the same room. I’ve always assumed as a parent it would give you a slightly icky feeling to see your children participating in a physical relationship of some kind, but the truth is, when you are a participant in a healthy relationship (i.e. my parents) you desire that for your own children. So it makes my mom happy to see both her daughters in healthy relationships where there is also a strong physical attraction. It wasn’t what I expected her to say at all, but I’m glad to know her feelings. Gives me a different perspective to mull over.
And for what it’s worth, our main goal is to embarrass the heck out of our kid(s) as they get older. We practice regularly with the sister-in-law.