54 Days

Until Christmas.  54 days people.  I’m stressed.  Not so much because Christmas is right around the corner…it happens to be my most favorite time of year.  But if Christmas is only 54 days away, that means I am quickly running out of time to prepare for this baby.  It’s not like we need “stuff”, but we do need somewhere to put her.  And honestly, the biggest task in front of us is gutting the guest room, refinishing the walls and moving A into her new room.  I doubt we’ll even paint the nursery…even though I really think grey walls would work better.  But I digress…

I’m feeling stressed about all the financials too.  I don’t really know why, I think it’s because in order to get everything ready it will mean a good chunk of money flying out the window and I tend to like to hoard the money around here.  I’m also stressed about the fact that our weekends seem to be over-whelming and there just isn’t anytime for Hubs and I to spend together.  Alone.  To actually complete a conversation or even for me to complete a thought or sentence before A needs something or the dog steals something off the table and requires chasing.  I wish the evenings were better too, but I’m so dang tired by noon 3:00 8:00 all I want to do is lay on the couch.  It’s the wrong time of year to be stressed.  It’s supposed to be a happy time of year and yet, I can’t get this nagging feeling that I’m going to forget something or not complete something out of my head.  In some ways it feels too early to shop for Christmas presents.  On the other hand…I have basically decided what I’m purchasing, so why not go ahead and get the shopping out of the way?  I’ve never understood the excitement about New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.  For me, it always meant black-eyed peas.  This year though, I totally get wanting to move on.  To leave 2011 behind me and get the hell on with life.  There have been a lot of great things that have happened, but it’s also been the year that I’ve experienced the most tragedy in my life.  I don’t want to wish the time away, and I completely understand that everything that has happened this year is molding me into the person I’m meant to be, and yet, I can’t help but feel that I am so over 2011 and ready for 2012 to get here.

And my house is messy.  And that stresses me out too.  I just can’t seem to keep up.  For a while it was easy to pick up after A and keep all her toys corralled in her room or in the toy cabinet in the den.  These days she drags stuff out faster than I can put it away and it drives me nuts.  I HATE having toys all over the place.  I don’t want my house to look like a daycare.  Her toys have a home…in her room.  She just has so much dang stuff and she keeps getting more.  Every time I turn around someone is giving her something; toys, clothes (OMG the clothes…).  I know they all mean well and I don’t want to take away the joy her grandparents, great-grandparents and aunts get from buying for her, but geez…our home is being over-taken.  Seriously.  That’s also adding to my stress about Christmas.  All the new STUFF I’m going to have to find a home for.  Then her birthday is 2 months later.  Then we’re adding a new baby.  I know our home is more than large enough to accommodate 4 people, but it feels like we’re busting at the seams.  I need to get rid of stuff, that’s the bottom line, but I feel so guilty getting rid of anything that belongs to A…it’s hers after all and I tend to be very sentimental.

To top it all off, I seem to have an infection under the nail of my pointer finger on my right hand.  It hurts like hell.  I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m going to the doctor this afternoon and hopefully getting a simple antibiotic to treat it.  I try to avoid the doctor like the plague, but the fact that I may have contracted a staph infection or some disgusting bacteria from the Children’s Aquarium I visited on Saturday has me scared enough to get it checked out.  When I called this morning I was told the Nurse Practitioner I’ve seen for the past 6 years (whom I ADORED) was no longer with the practice, I almost cried.  I was Googling his name on the iPad before I even got off the phone.  I’ll track him down and switch practices, but in the mean time I have an appointment this afternoon with a doctor I haven’t seen in half a decade.  Yay.

I think I’ll go try to pick up a little around here.  Although, the package of Whoppers I just ate isn’t sitting so well so I may just plop down on the couch instead and look upon all the toys in the den with hatred while I try to catch up on Private Practice.


One thought on “54 Days

  1. sometimes everything just piles up and it becomes overwhelming, it’s hard to even know where to begin taking care of everything, i know how you feel. i hope the finger was a simple fix and i wouldn’t blame you at all if you did just plop down on the couch for a bit.

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