Still here

I’m still here. I’m still pregnant. I’m still shocked I’m still here and still pregnant.  My official due date is this Friday and this little girl is quickly running out of time to arrive on her own.  My 40 week appointment is Thursday and I ‘ll be requesting another membrane sweep in hopes of moving things along.  Each day that goes by makes me feel that my body won’t do what it’s supposed to do (that it’s failing me, again) and my confidence wanes even further.  If she doesn’t show up on her own before then, I’ll have a scheduled induction either this coming Monday or Wednesday (we’re still tossing dates around).  As much as I DO NOT want to be induced, there are other factors at play and eventually, I’ll have to give in.  Everything seems to be ready and in order, I even broke down and mopped the floors today.  I’d been putting it off because, well, I hate to mop and also because I figure my mom needed SOMETHING to do while I was in the hospital.  I have contractions during the day and especially at night, but they never seem to intensify or go anywhere – the only thing they do at night is make it really difficult for me to sleep.  It’s beyond frustrating.  I booked myself a prenatal massage for tomorrow evening, I’m excited for a lower back massage – that seems to be the thing that hurts the most.  I’m also excited to lay on my belly and remove the pressure from my lower back for 50 glorious minutes.  For the record, none of the old wives tales work.  I haven’t tried them all, but I’ve tried a bunch.  And if I have to unpack one more thing from my hospital bag, I’m going to cry.